Break Free from Cycles of People-Pleasing & Toxic Dynamics
Relationships should be a source of support, not a constant drain on your energy. Whether you are struggling with a partner, family member, or your own internal critic, the weight of trying to keep everyone happy often leads to resentment, exhaustion, and losing your sense of self. Many of the patterns we struggle with today, codependency, attachment issues, and people-pleasing, are actually "filters" created by past wounds that we are playing out. When you carry unresolved trauma, you aren’t just living your life; you are reacting to the past.
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Specialized Interpersonal Therapy in Calabasas
I provide a structured, trauma-informed space to help you navigate the complexities of your past and present. We will focus on:
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Recovery from Toxic Dynamics: Specialized support for those healing from narcissistic abuse, family dysfunction, and the unique challenges faced by adult children of addicts.
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Boundaries Without the Guilt: Learning to set firm limits and protect your peace without feeling resentment or guilt.
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Responding vs. Reacting: Moving out of "survival mode" and nervous system triggers. We work on creating a "pause" so you can respond to conflict with clarity and calm rather than reacting out of old wounds.
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Identity & Self-Regard: Moving away from people-pleasing and "fixing" others so you can focus on yourself. We work toward a life where you actually like who you are and feel proud of the person you’ve become.
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Attachment & Codependency: Breaking the cycle of "losing yourself" in your relationships and learning how to build connections based on mutual respect rather than a high tolerance for chaos or avoidance.
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Healing the Root Causes: Addressing the unresolved issues behind anger, shame, and addiction by exploring how your past experiences shaped your current ways of moving through the world.
My Approach: Connecting Your Past to Your Present
We don't look at the past just to dwell on it; we look at it to understand the "blueprints" you are currently using to navigate your life. Many of the behaviors that leave you feeling stuck today, like anger, hypervigilance, people-pleasing, or a high tolerance for chaos, were once clever survival strategies you developed to get through difficult environments. By identifying these old "filters," we can begin to:
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Uncover the "Why": Understand how family-of-origin dynamics or past toxic relationships created your current triggers.
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Update the "How": Consciously choose new ways of responding that align with who you are now, rather than who you had to be then.
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Heal the Root: Move beyond just managing symptoms to actually resolving the underlying wounds that keep the old patterns on repeat.
Find Support That Fits Your Life
I provide a safe, trauma-informed space to explore how your past experiences shape your present. Whether we meet in person, online or outdoors, the goal is the same: reclaiming your life from your history.
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In-Office: Trauma-informed therapy in Calabasas.
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Walk and Talk Therapy: Experience healing in motion in West Hills.
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Online Therapy: Accessible sessions for residents throughout California and Oregon.
Tori Palliccia
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
About Tori: 23 Years of Clinical Expertise
I have spent over two decades studying the why behind human behavior. My career has been defined by a deep focus on trauma and interpersonal dynamics, which are the invisible threads that shape how we show up in our relationships and for ourselves.
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My Clinical Foundation
Before moving into private practice, I developed my expertise in high-intensity settings, including Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault Counseling, and Addiction Medicine at Kaiser Permanente. These roles provided me with a profound understanding of emotional reactivity and how the nervous system responds to long-term stress and chaos. I also spent seven years teaching in the Graduate Program at Loyola Marymount University, focusing on Human Sexuality and Addiction, which are areas deeply intertwined with how we relate to others.
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My Therapeutic Lens
I utilize an eclectic, trauma-informed approach that blends psychodynamic strategies with narrative therapy. I believe we all create stories about who we are based on our earliest experiences. These narratives often become the filters through which we see the world, sometimes keeping us stuck in cycles that no longer serve us.
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By integrating attachment theory, parts work, and CBT, we work together to rewrite the narrative. We examine the old stories you carry and update them to reflect who you are today. We use psychodynamic insights to see how past blueprints are influencing your current relationship patterns. This allows you to move away from reactive triggers and toward a version of yourself that you truly like and feel proud of.
About
THERAPY
Therapy is a supportive space to process sadness, overwhelm, and pain, but it is also a space that will gently challenge you to look at the patterns that keep you stuck. It is a place to tell your story, explore your pain, and reflect on how your experiences have shaped the relationship you have with yourself and others.
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The truth is that therapy takes work and change is one of the hardest things a person can do. It asks you to look at difficult things, including yourself, and challenges you to start doing some things differently. If nothing changes, then nothing changes. We all have patterns and defenses that may eventually stop serving us. Finding new and more effective ways to express and handle hurt will lead to a healthier relationship with yourself and those around you.
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Not every session requires digging deep into the past. Sometimes you simply need a space to be heard, to feel supported, and to not carry the weight of life alone. Therapy can hold both growth and relief. If this is the kind of support you are looking for, I offer in-person individual therapy in Calabasas, walk and talk therapy in West Hills, and online therapy throughout California and Oregon.
Therapy is a supportive space to process sadness, overwhelm, and pain, but it is also a space that will gently challenge you to look at the patterns that keep you stuck. It is a place to tell your story, explore your pain, and reflect on how your experiences have shaped the relationship you have with yourself and others.
The truth is that therapy takes work and change is one of the hardest things a person can do. It asks you to look at difficult things, including yourself, and challenges you to start doing some things differently. If nothing changes, then nothing changes. We all have patterns and defenses that may eventually stop serving us. Finding new and more effective ways to express and handle hurt will lead to a healthier relationship with yourself and those around you.
Not every session requires digging deep into the past. Sometimes you simply need a space to be heard, to feel supported, and to not carry the weight of life alone. Therapy can hold both growth and relief. If this is the kind of support you are looking for, I offer in-person individual therapy in Calabasas, walk and talk therapy in West Hills, and online therapy throughout California and Oregon.